Advice from Tia Maria Sue: Dealing With A Cat

Advice from Tia Maria Sue: Dealing With A Cat

We welcome Tia Maria Sue, who from now on will collaborate with Atención through her advice column. Don’t miss her every Thursday, only in


Welcome Tia Maria Sue!


Advice from Tia Maria Sue


Dear Tia Maria Sue, 

The neighbor’s cat keeps jumping over the roof into my garden and house leaving his scent everywhere. I tried to politely raise the issue with my neighbor. The neighbor was deeply offended but to try to appease me added a bell to the cat’s collar – which does absolutely no good. 

What do you suggest? 

Pissed Off 


Dearest Pissed Off-


First let me say the old adage Better to be Pissed Off than Pissed On does not hold up in this circumstance. 


While I myself love the occasional viewing of a feline, from a distance, I do not cotton to them invading my personal space. I give kudos to your neighbor for trying to make an effort; however, the bell only can be used to scare off birds and confuse you. I mean every time you hear the cat’s bell are you to run into the street in your nightgown wielding your kitchen knives expecting them to be sharpened? I think not! 


Now let’s expand upon this whole Scent situation….  There are few things worse than the smell of can we say cat urine? (Rabbit urine is far worse but don’t ask me how I know these things…I just do). So I say fight scent with scent… 


Now I want you to prance on down to your local pharmacy here in SMA (oh it would be so much better if you could get to a Piggly Wiggly or Dollar General) and buy the cheapest worst smelling cologne you can find. I mean the type a pubescent boy on a budget might buy. Say Drakkar Noir or better yet it’s knock off. Then when Mr Kitty comes a calling- you can send a scent home with him. 


Just for fun and to keep things interesting, change scents every week. And for me, could you throw in a week of Old Spice in memory of my Daddy? I mean- if you can smell Old Spice on the other side of the glass at Kilby State Prison at visitation I know it will be well suited to your needs.


I wish you all the best and hope your neighbor comes to her senses (See what I did there?) 


Remember my mantra- I’m not judging, I’m just saying.




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